Today was a hard day for Daughter A. She felt ill, and completely exhausted. After her “marathon” miracle yesterday, who can blame her? So, she rested in her hospital bed most of the day, and tried not to feel too discouraged. Before going back to the hospital to visit with her, I tried to get some long-overdue mundane things taken care of that have piled up…things like getting my hair cut, doing some laundry, scrubbing the toilets, vacuuming and washing dishes. With all these long days at work and long nights at the hospital, the house is completely out of control. I fear it may never recover.
In the grand scheme of things, I suppose the mess doesn’t really matter. But, when I come in the door every night and see each room falling into various degrees of shambles, it weighs on my heart. It’s like a silent symbol of how my life has become right now…completely out of my control. Shattered. So, today when I finally had some time to do something about it, what happens? I find myself just sitting there at my kitchen table staring out the window.
I had a million things to do, but I was just sitting there – basically feeling frustrated, and overwhelmed, and more than a bit sorry for myself. I picked up my phone and started scrolling through my Facebook feed (modern escapism at it’s best). I read about other people’s lives and “likes”, and rants and joys. Someone had posted a Bible video depicting Jesus healing the lame man at the pool of Bethesda. The man sits in utter hopelessness. He has no one to help him, and he feels forsaken. Jesus takes the man by the hand, and says to him “Arise, take up thy bed and walk“.
Of course, I immediately put this Bible story in the context of the miracle that Jesus can and will work for my daughter, helping her to “arise…and walk” again. But, as I watched it a second time and pondered it a little bit deeper, I realized it was really coming as a gentle reminder meant for me. Jesus is the one we must turn to when we feel helpless and forsaken, sitting all alone at our individual ‘pools of Bethesda’. If we will just look to Him, and take His hand – He will give us enough strength to rise up from our beds of fear and discouragement, and walk forward.
Day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
Yes, Jesus. I will put my hand in Yours once more, and I will Arise. I will take up my burden, and I will keep walking (even if it’s only long enough to clean the toilets).
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