I should be sleeping. If I went to bed right this moment I might be lucky enough to get
four three two solid hours of sleep. But, I’m not in bed and I’m not sleeping. Instead I’m sitting here worrying.
I’m worrying about my in-laws who are both very seriously ill. I’m praying over them and wondering how I can possibly help in a meaningful way this week with my immense time commitments. I’m worrying about one of my best friends who has more serious worries than me, and I don’t know how to help. I’m worried about my job and the giant two day Research Conference that I’ve been planning for the PAST TWELVE MONTHS OF MY LIFE… which is happening in 48 hours “ready or not” – yes, THIS Thursday and Friday of all weeks (…so many details and last minute fires to still put out!). I’m worrying about our important guest speaker scheduled to fly from Nova Scotia, where right now apparently airplanes can’t take off or land safely because it’s insanely terrible freezing weather conditions there! Which is hard to imagine since it’s insanely wonderful melting-everything weather conditions here (predicted 80 degrees today in Utah). So I sit and say a prayer for Nova Scotia to please warm up – fast! But, not too quickly, because airplanes cannot take off or land in floods, either…
I’m worrying because this is one of the biggest and busiest weekends of the year for Mormons – including me – This is LDS General Conference weekend – YAY!! Which isn’t normally something to worry about because it’s always sooo wonderful – I LOVE IT!! – but – General Conference means one of the biggest and busiest weeks of the year for the Choir – including me;
- Two big rehearsals this week – one tonight, and one Thursday night which directly conflict with my work event – so I’ve had to arrange co-workers to “be me” during that time period. (Praying for my coworkers)
- Three big Conference sessions to sing, with many many many songs to learn and memorize and no time to work on them properly! (Praying for a miracle to happen inside my brain)
Speaking of miracles, we just bought a darling new car three days ago. Yes! It was unexpected but very cool how it all worked out. But, now I’m worrying. It was a super smart purchase and incredible deal and it felt completely ‘right’. But, it’s still creating several new worries… which brings me to thoughts of our other ‘nearly new’ car which one of the kids – totally accidentally – backed into the rock retaining wall this week (the reason I have to “wake up” in less than 2 hours – so I can take it to the body shop for the insurance estimate before going to work)… which leads me to making sure I’ve planned everyone’s schedules carefully, double checking that everyone really does have a way to get to and from all the important places they need to be today … which leads to worries about life in general and how quickly my children are growing up, thoughts about all the many years that have flown by, all so bitter-sweet I might cry … all the things I wish I would have known so I could have done things right … no “going back” to fix it now … no more babies to hold and rock and sing lullabies to anymore. My babies are taller than me now. Thankfully, they are still home for a while to let me hug and kiss them every night. What a joy that is! Soon they will fly the nest, and what new challenges life will bring around the corner, I can scarcely imagine … and how will we handle whatever it is?
I worry about worrying too much.
I’m not getting enough sleep. Stress makes people sick, and I’m going to end up sick and then what will I do?
AAGGHH! My head hurts! I’m exhausted. I want to sleep. But, there seems to be no rest in sight!
A line from a favorite hymn plays across my mind.
“Where can I turn for peace?”
The answer the beautiful hymn gives, is that we must turn to Him – The Prince of Peace. The Only One who can understand our worries, quiet our fears, and calm our troubled mind and heart.
I remind myself that this is Easter week. This is the week we dedicate to the miracle of Him. The One who has an answer for all of our worries. The One who understands our pain, and provides the balm. The One who sees our chaos, and restores order. The One who feels our burden, and knows how to help us carry it. He said:
“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33)
He has overcome the world.
What does that mean?
He overcame all of my worries and all of your worries, and all of the worries of the entire world. There is no worry we can dream up that he hasn’t already experienced, figured out and conquered. Think about your worries. Think “what’s the absolute worst thing that could happen?” OK. Jesus has overcome that, so you can get through it.
Jesus Christ overcame all death and all hell.
He lived and died, and lived again.
Jesus lives right now.
Because Jesus lives, you will live, and I will live, and everyone we love will live.
Because Jesus lives, I can set my worries down, go to bed and let myself sleep for a few short hours. He will watch over those worries. They’ll still be right here when I wake up. But, they won’t have quite as much weight when I pick them back up again.
Yes, life may be difficult and filled with a million worries. Sometimes it’s agonizing, miserable, crushing…. But, our life is a gift from the Creator And Giver of Life. He has a perfect plan for every creation, and a clear purpose for each life.
Don’t worry child, He’s got this.
Everything is going to be OK.
That is what this week – The Holy Week – Our Easter celebration is all about!
I wish you a very Happy Easter, my dear ones. May you feel His peace, and may you find the rest that you seek. – MoSop